so tell me
by jennywinger
Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione visit Sirius. However, Harry's godfather has a guest already, his niece, Andromeda. Hermione asks a question that leads to a part of the Black history uncovered. Because, whatsoever drove Bellatrix Lestrange-Black into insanity? What happened in her childhood?


**Ok, this is my first HP story, please be kind!**

'She wasn't always like this...' Hermione asked. 'Was she?'

Andromeda sighed. She should have known the conversation would turn this way and she'd be forced to explain... with all eyes on her. She looked over at her nephew, hoping he would help her or perhaps steer the conversation into an entirely different direction. But alas, the man just smirked with his arms crossed. She would curse him later for that. She looked at the younger, bushy-haired witch and her two companions. They wanted to know. The woman sighed again. 'No. She wasn't.'

The boy she knew as Ron Weasley frowned, as if he hoped for her to say: 'No, sure, she was aways insane. As matter of fact, when she was in Hogwarts she used to walk around in nothing but her knickers and a corset.' Harry, the-boy-who-lived, joined his friend in the same facial expression, while the young witch had expected that answer and desperately wanted to know more.

'Then what was she like?' The young girl asked. 'When did she became "like that". Why did she became "like that". Who...' Andromeda cut her off.

'Enough.' She sighed. 'I'll tell you the story, just, no more questions.'

'Ok!' Hermione immediately agreed. 'Please do tell!'

'Bellatrix Lestrange was born Bellatrix Black in 1951. Bellatrix was a child. Just an ordinary child. Sure, she knew she had magical abilities, she had felt them and used them occasionally, but she wasn't fond of them. Bellatrix preferred playing outside with Purebloods, Half-bloods, Muggleborn and Muggles. She was a child, a child with no prejudices.' She looked at the shock on all of the younger witches and wizards' faces. 'Didn't expect that, did ya?' She smirked.

Ron was the first to speak. 'Weren't you raised with, well, a hatred for Halfbloods and Muggleborn?' He asked plainly.

'I won't lie.' Andromeda said. 'Our mother, Druella and our father too, I suppose, were not fond of _those_ witches and wizards. But Bellatrix was a young girl with a mind of her own and didn't let her parents personal preference interfere with who she would and who she wouldn't choose as a friend. She chose them, based on their abilities to talk and climb trees and play games.'

'I can't imagine Bellatrix Lestrange climbing a tree.' Harry puffed.

A small smile formed around Andromeda's lips when she thought of the memory. 'But she did. Much to our parents' disapproval. You see, our mother liked to dress up her oldest daughter. She'd buy her most expensive clothes and forced Bella to wear them. She dressed up me and Cissy as well, but whe'd keep our clothes clean, so mother wasn't very interested in dressing us. But Bella made it one of little challenges mother had, she simply refused to wear them. And even if she did... Oh I remember mother buying Bella this beautiful purple dress that made her look like a princess. Mother spent half the day forcing Bella in it, before combing her thick, rather uncombable black curls and giving her a little bit of make up. When she was finally finished she wanted to show her daughter to her husband, very proud of her accomplishments, but Bellatrix had disappeared. We spend an hour looking for her. We finally found her in the top of our oak tree, we had no idea how she got there, but the dress was torn, her make up smudged and her hair a mess. Mother cried for hours, screaming at our dad, making him angry. That was the first time Bellatrix got hit. I'm not gonna lie, I thought she deserved it. I would've been proud to wear that dress -I was jealous- and she just tore it to pieces. Our father smacked her, hard, across the face.'

'She got hit?' Sirius asked. Obviously this was the first time he ever heard that.

She nodded. 'And that's just the beginning, nephew. She got hit almost every day since then. If she was out to late, she got hit. If she ruined clothing by being outside, she got hit. Then it got worse. If she didn't finish her food, she got hit. If she ate too much, she got hit. If she asked if she could go outside, smack, she got hit. The poor girl didn't even dare to open her mouth, because 9 out of 10, chances were she would get hit.'

'So that's what changed her.' Hermione stated. 'The abuse.'

'Half right. But you see, eventually, Bellatrix didn't mind getting slapped every day. She would gladly take a beating if that meant playing with her friends all day. She was careful though, making sure her clothes wouldn't get dirty or torn, and behaving like the perfect daughter all day. Though she was never good enough. They always compared her to us, telling her she was a failure. "Look at Cissy, merely a baby and she knows how to behave better than you." They would say rather often. But Bella didn't really care, sure she didn't want to be a disappointment, but she was still the same, stubborn, own-minded girl who would make her own life great. No, the hitting and the mental abuse didn't change her.

'Then what?' They all hung on her lips.

'When she was about ten, or twelve, I don't know anymore, I want nothing more than forget, our father had had enough. He realized hitting wasn't enough to get Bellatrix in line. He must've been scared that we would take her as an example and turn out the same way, even though he never said so. He called for our uncle...'

'Which one?' Sirius inquired to know.

'I don't remember.' Andromeda lied.

Sirius shook his head. 'You're lying. It was my dad, wasn't it? What did he do to her?'

'I honestly don't remember.' She lied again. 'But he came non the less. Our father asked him to set Bella straight, he knew the man ought to be able to do that. So after dinner, our uncle took Bellatrix into our fathers private quarters and locked the door. That room was two floors up, and we still heard her cry. First very loud, then softer, until we only heard her sob silently.'

'What happened?' Hermione asked. Her friends were silent and looked down, feeling immensely sorry for one of their most hated enemies.

'I never found out, though I could guess. She came to my room later that night, she had bruises everywhere and didn't want to be touched. She started talking and I noticed she was not alright in the head. She mumbled and said things that didn't make sense. When I remember it I think it was a combination of a concussion and sleepiness. After that day she was never the same again. She didn't want to play outside and she spent all her free time practicing magic. Our uncle came to visit us a couple of times, always wanting to speak to Bellatrix in private. She stopped screaming and fighting when she was fourteen. When she was seventeen, another man, I didn't know him, came to our house. He was apparently a very important businesspartner of our dad's. He too spent the evening with Bellatrix alone in our dad's quarters. Two weeks later the man was found dead, nobody knew for sure, but all thought Bella did it. She managed to kill him, but not our uncle, never our uncle, who kept seeing her a few times a year.'

'What did he do to her?' Sirius asked silently, with his head bowed, thinking of his father no doubt.

'She never told me.'

'But?' Hermione asked. 'I know you're holding something back, mrs Tonks. What?'

Andromeda sighed. 'I found her diary. She spoke of immense pain and bleeding without being stabbed. She told her diary that she thought of killing herself, just so it would end.'

She was interrupted again. 'Why didn't she?' By Harry Potter.

'She met a boy. A handsome young man who promised her the world.'

'Did she marry this man? Was it Rodolphus Lestrange?' Hermione asked, as if she were discussing a soap opera.

Andromeda shook her head. 'No. She was betrothed to the Lestrange boy when she left Hogwarts, as it was expected of her to do so, also the first time our parents were ever proud of her. No the boy she met was Tom Riddle, and he offered her a way out of her misery and she took it. I think she still feels obligated to Tom Riddle, whom you all know as _Voldemort_. She thinks she owes him and he uses that against her. She would do, and probably does, everything for that pathetic excuse for a man.'

'You think they're sleeping together?' Sirius asked, surprising all in the room with his question.

Andromeda shrugged. 'I'm not sure. I've seen her look at him, heard her talk about him. There's love in her eyes and in her voice. She loves him. But I've heard _Voldemort_ is incapable of love, therefor he mustn't have shown her any affection. Which again must've broken her heart and made her a more angry and devoted Death eater. But I can't be sure. For all I know he's banging her right now.'

'Andromeda!' Sirius exclaimed. 'There children in the room!'

The older witch smirked. 'Oh come on, you old man. I'm sure they've heard much worse. They're old enough for it anyway.'

'Still.' He mumbled silently.

'Please do tell on.' Hermione asked.

Andromeda looked at her. 'I'm afraid there's nothing more to tell, deary, that's the end of my knowledge of Bellatrix Lestrange-Black. I knew her as a happy child, I knew her as a broken teenager and I knew her as a mad sociopath who wanted nothing but revenge on someone she could never get revenge on. My sister, Bella as I called her, died a long time ago. I saw her, though, a few months back. She was disguised and all, but I recognized her anyway. I spoke with her, for five minutes tops, but I knew then and now that it was the last conversation I'd ever have with her.

* * *

'Bella?' Andromeda asked, making sure she didn't use her sisters last name and accidentally outed her in public, sending her back to Azkaban. As much as her sister had changed, she was and would always be her sister and Andromeda could never do that to her. When she got closed enough to be out of everybody's ear-range, she whispered: 'Bellatrix Black?'

'Who on earth...?' A harsh whisper came from under the cloak. 'Andy.'

'Yes.' Andromeda wanted to cry. Perhaps she could convince her sister to join the good side, there she would receive all the love and comfort she missed as a child. Andromeda had lost her other sister for good, Cissy had a husband and a child she would never leave, but she had always kept naive hope that Bella would switch sides. But when she looked in Bellatrix's eyes she knew it was a lost cause. Anger and fright were the only emotions. After that it was all blank. Bellatrix had lost her spirit, her happiness, her soul. She would never go back. When Andromeda realized that, she also realized this would probably be the last conversation she had with her sister. Not wasting a second, she threw her arms around her skinny, pale sister and pulled her into a hug, which Bella ended a few seconds later.

'What do you want?' She barked.

'My sister back.' Andromeda said. 'But she won't come back, ever, will she?'

Bellatrix shook her head. 'No, she won't.'

'What are you doing here?'

Bellatrix sighed. 'Getting some supplies.' She answered. 'Are you going to out me? They'll arrest me and throw me back in that rathole you know.'

Andromeda shook her head violently. 'I won't out you. I swear. I just want to talk to you. Do you want to get something to drink?'

'No I can't. My husband expects me back any second now. And even if that wasn't the case, I would never sit down with a blood traitor. How is that daughter of yours? Still a freak, I suppose.'

'Don't you dare insult my daughter, Bella. Come on, I know you better than that.'

'I suppose our parents are finally proud of me, for I have married and kept the bloodline pure, while you threw _mud_ into it. Not that it matters anyways, you're disowned and you're branch cut off. Does it hurt? You know, knowing that your pathetic sister, who couldn't even stand up for herself, is finally better? While you, pampered and all, are a no good disappointment.'

Andromeda knew it was rhetorical. 'No, it doesn't. I married for love, something I'm sure you don't even know.'

Bellatrix shrugged. 'What good would love do, when you can have power?'

'Not that you'll ever have power. Your master will lose this war.'

Her sister smirked. 'I doubt it. Now, dear sister, I must depart. It was lovely speaking to you once again. Give my love to you _mudblood_ husband and my _halfblood_ niece, for whom I feel sorry. You know, she never asked for this. I'll be sure to ask my master to spare you, or at least my niece, until the point has come that all _bloodtraitors, halfbloods_ and _mudbloods _have to be determinated. Goodbye, Andy.'

Before her sister could leave, Andromeda grabbed her arm. 'Bella, I love, I've always loved you and I always will. Please, you can stop right now. The Order will protect you. You can live a long full live, with lots of love. You don't have to die. Please, Bells, I'm practically begging you. Stay with me.'

For one moment, Andromeda thought her sister was actually considering her offer. Until the witch looked back with a smirk. 'This is what love does to you. It destroys you, it makes you weak. I will never be weak again.' Then she ripped her arm free from Andromeda's grip and apparated elsewhere.

* * *

After Andromeda had told her family and friends about her conversation with her sister they all sat in silence. Nobody dared to speak. Some looked at the floor, others at Andromeda. The silence was broken by Sirius.

'Andy, it's ok.' He sat next to his niece and wrapped an arm around him. 'It's not your fault. Bellatrix is broken, she'll always be. I feel sorry for her, but I can say for sure that none of us here blames you for her, she couldn't be saved. But we have to focus on the ones that can be saved. And if it's up to me, I'll make sure we'll capture her alive and she'll receive all the help she needs, so desperately.'

Andromeda smiled a little. 'Thanks Sirius. Just make sure you live to see the end of the war.'

'Of that I have no doubt.'

**So, this was my first Harry Potter Fic. I'm not sure if you like it, but I do, and that's what matters to me. I don't know if I'll be ****writing more HP fics in the future, but hey, never say never, right? That's not a Justin Bieber reference, btw. **


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